Sam is the Man with the Plan
by President ORB
Summary: She thought this would be a piece of cake. In fact, she was planning on it. But Freddie's girlfriend was tougher to get rid of than she thought...and why won't Carly stop laughing?  Seddie Arc didn't happen  Rated for language and thought-bubble violence.
1. ANNOUNCEMENT PLEASE READ

_**ANNOUNCEMENT**__**:**_

**Okay, I really hate to do this, but it looks like the idea won't leave me alone, and I can only be patient with myself for SO long…**

**So, I must REWRITE this story.**

**I will be keeping the storyline the same, but I'll be adding a certain touch that I've always wanted to try writing. It's been bugging me for weeks, and I finally decided that I NEEDED to do it. I was re-reading the incomplete story, Power of Denial (I can't find it in the ff . net search), and it's been getting my juices flowing.**

**If you don't know what kind of re-write element I'm talking about, I'll try to find a different example…**

**Okay, here's a really good Hey Arnold! fanfic by a good friend of mine, actually. ( http : / / www . fanfiction . net / s / 6852689 / 1 / ) Just take out the spaces, and you'll find yourself a good example of how I'm turning the story around. Again, I promise that the storyline will stay the same, so it shouldn't be confusing, but I'm just going to give it a little more of a comedic effect. And it will help move the story along much better. Or, so I'm hoping…**

**So please, come back in about…two weeks or maybe less, and the story will be completely reposted up to this current point in the story. I won't guarantee that some things in the storyline may change a little, or some things may be added, but it will stay relatively the same.**

**Thanks so much for reading this, and I really hope this will help my story and that you'll like it even more!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Alright. Here we go. I hope this will go well, you guys! NanoWrimo really got in the way of this, to be honest, so it's gonna take a little while to get complete updates, but they'll be coming steadily. I'm thinking I'll update...maybe every 2 days? Maybe every 3 or 4? Once a week? I don't know. Maybe you guys should tell me! I'd love to hear what you guys think. :) So, if you want, tell me in a review or PM how often I should update. Otherwise, I'll probably just post them as they come. **

**Okay, so here is the rewrite of Chapter One. The parts that were already posted haven't changed much, like I said. **

**Be sure to tell me if you like the changes!**

**Happy Reading!**

**Disclaimer: Oh, I just got a text. **

**...**

**It says I don't own iCarly. Sorry, guys.**

* * *

Walking down the hall, Sam passed a group of giggling girls just outside the girls' room. She made her way to her locker, and looked back at a nearby wall clock as she opened it up. Normally, she didn't stop in between classes, but she was really in the mood for a fatcake, so it was unavoidable. She dug around for what remained of her fatcake stash when she suddenly heard something that actually caught her interest.

"And now, we're dating. Can you believe it?" some girl said, a smile in her voice.

"Oh, wow! It must be like dating a celebrity!"

"Well, iCarly _is_ really popular…"

Sam looked back over her shoulder, but she couldn't see the group of girls anymore.

'_What the heck are they talking about?'_ she thought as she chomped down on the first fatcake she could find.

Another girl asked frantically,

"Wait, you're dating that Gibby kid?"

A round of laughs echoed through the hallway, accompanied by some "ew"s. The first girl replied instantly,

"No, no. The _hot_ one."

Some girls giggled and she kept going.

"You know, 'Tech Time with Freddie'?"

Sam had nearly done a spit-take with her fatcake.

"Wait, when did he ask you out?" another girl asked.

"Well, we have P.E. together. _That_'s when he asked me."

Sam cringed as she heard the girl keep going about Freddie's biceps and lots of stuff that made Sam want to laugh her head off or just plain throw up. The girls continued to giggle when it dawned on Sam that Freddie never told her and Carly that he even had a girlfriend.

'_That is, unless if just happened __**today**__ and he hasn't even gotten the chance to…'_

She grinned as she slammed her locker closed. They had iCarly rehearsal tonight and Carly was bound to hear about this "gossip" going on right there in the hall. She'd just spend her spare time until then thinking of insults and comebacks when it gets brought up just to pass the time. And by spare time, that means her classes.

Sam quickly walked back passed the girls, and swiftly stole a glance back, only to see the first girl talking with her back to her. She wasn't all that tall and she was wearing clothes that Carly would typically wear. And she had really wavy brown hair.

'_Huh,'_ Sam thought, as she continued on her way before the bell rang, _'Of __**course**__ Freddie would be dating a girly-girl. The last three were like that, too.'_

She puffed some hair out of her face.

* * *

But in the confines of Sam's mind something stirred.

"Ugh, that chick is already harping on my game. This day blows."

A sigh rang out, followed by a resounding,

"Just can it, Hate. Nobody cares."

Hate turned her head around, glaring down the emotion that dare speak with her that way.

"Maybe if you weren't so busy scheming behind everyone's back, you'd see the truth, Denial," she said with an enormous grin. Denial gave a quick glare laugh,

"Why, I'd _never_ do something like that."

"Would you two kindly simmer down? I'd like to pay attention to class for once, you know."

A loud burst of giggles erupted out causing Knowledge to slam her book closed, and look over her shoulder.

"Honestly, don't any of you have something better to do right now?"

She turned her head when she a loud yawn next to her.

"Oh, great," Knowledge groaned, "Lazy's here. Well, thanks, guys. I'm out."

And with that, she stalked off to her little corner, ignored again. But at least she wasn't alone. As she sat down, two others joined her, a little too closely.

"So…how's it goin'?" asked one.

"Yeah, I thought she needed you for plotting and whatnot?" asked the other.

Knowledge sighed loudly, opening her book again and scanning through it.

"Well, apparently not right now, girls," she replied. The other two laughed.

"Well, that sucks. Do you think I can sneak in if she falls asleep?"

Knowledge sighed in annoyance, turning to her left,

"No, Intimate, I don't advise it. You remember what happened last time. Just keep your legs shut and we'll all be fine."

Another burst of giggles erupted and Knowledge whipped her head around to the culprits.

Of course, it had to be Hate and Denial. And even Happy and Brave were there, too. Great, today just wasn't the day, she supposed.

"Aww, what's the matter, Knowl?" Denial asked her sympathetically, "You heard her. You'll be back out in no time!"

"Well, if she would use me for something _useful_, I'd be much happier to oblige for once," she scowled, pulling the book up to cover her face. Intimate cuddled in closer to her,

"Just tell her to jump Freddie the next time we see him," she cooed, "That always works."

"In your dreams, Intimate. There's a difference between the real world and …whatever world _you_ live in," Brave yelled to her. Intimate frowned.

"You guys are no fun," she sighed, hugging her knees to her chest.

"It's okay, Intimate. Just don't listen to them. At least we know what the truth is, right, Knowledge?"

Knowledge sighed again and looked to her right.

"Yes, In Love, we know the _truth_. Although, it doesn't necessarily help when no one _listens_," she seethed, and quickly glared back at the small group laughing at them. Happy smiled widely,

"Don't be so down. Leave that to Timid." She pointed across the way, "And that's why she's in that stupid cage. 'Cause she sucks. So buck up! Eat some ham!"

She pulled out some slices and handed them to knowledge with a big grin. Knowledge looked up,

"You know that isn't good for you," she remarked, and went back to her book.

Hate quickly ran up and grabbed the book from her.

"Eat that ham, you freak, before I shove it down your throat. We LOVE meat. Period!" she growled furiously. Knowledge sighed and took the ham from her, slowly biting into it. Happy smiled, offering more slices to everyone else.

Almost too quickly, the ground seemed to jolt, and Knowledge stood up.

"Oh! I'm back in again!" she said a little too excitedly. Everyone looked at her and then she nervously smiled, "Well, Here I go!"

She sat back down behind Sam's eyes, looking down at a piece of yellow paper. It was a list. Oh boy, let the plotting begin.

* * *

**Alright, tell me what you guys think. Thanks! ;)**


	3. Chapter 2

**This chapter is pretty much the same as before. I didn't change much. But be sure to re-read it anyway, if you'd like! **

**Disclaimer: Nope. It hasn't happened. I don't own iCarly. *shakes fist at sky* _One day..._**

* * *

Later that day, Freddie, Carly, and Sam were in the iCarly studio. Gibby had come to help, but obviously Sam didn't see how he could. She was just waiting for the perfect moment to bring up this 'girlfriend' topic. She expected Carly to say something, and then Freddie would say,

"Oh, she's _funny_ and _pretty_—"

And then Sam would say,

"Yeah, pretty _STUPID_, for dating _YOU_!"

…or something along those lines.

Sam had tried to sit in her classes and think of something clever to say when Freddie started talking about it, but she came up mostly blank. She kept going back and thinking of insults she had already used, and thinking about how terrible they were. She needed something good. Something original. Something that will make him cringe, and maybe even cry…

'_Nah, he doesn't need to suffer too much. Especially if he already has a bimbo girlfriend…'_

After a while, Carly mentioned that some viewers had been leaving comments about having Freddie in FRONT of the camera, and Sam knew this was her moment.

She smirked and leaned back in her beanbag chair.

"We could always put him in front of the camera and say that he's finally gotten a girlfriend," Sam began, trying to milk up the story a little, "but then we'll reveal later that they're just imaginary!"

Sam grinned, but stopped when she noticed how utterly silent it was. Carly and Freddie glanced at each other. Sam huffed and then continued, trying to work with what she had.

"And…it could be a _dude_! No, wait! A _chimpanzee_! A dude chimpanzee…that's imaginary. Or, at least invisible!"

It was silent again…until Gibby started rolling on the floor, buckled over in a laughing fit. Sam bit her lip. If Gibby thought that was funny, then it definitely _wasn't_. She must be losing her touch. She glanced at Carly to see her staring at Freddie. They were giving each other concerned looks.

'_Okay, what is it?'_

Carly finally spoke up, looking a little nervous.

"Well…uhm…you see—"

Freddie cut her off, asking her not to say it. Sam looked at both of them like they were crazy.

'_Say what?'_ she wondered.

But Carly gave him a look. Sam could tell it said that they needed to tell Sam whatever it was they were hiding.

'_Huh, so much for __**no more**__**secrets**__…'_

Sam tried to ask, but Carly and Freddie started to argue…kind of.

"Absolutely not."

"Come on, she's gonna find out eventually!"

"That's not the point!"

Sam sighed. Apparently, Freddie clearly didn't want her to know about whatever they were arguing about, and Carly felt the opposite. And Gibby was _still_ on the floor, laughing.

Sam felt like an idiot in all of this. She slumped in her beanbag chair until Carly finally turned to her with a triumphant smile.

"Well, _Sam_, the truth is—"

Freddie butted in at the perfect time, blurting out,

"We can do that sketch! It'd be fun! Right, Gibby?"

Gibby was still laughing, and Sam just rolled her eyes. This was going nowhere.

"Seriously," she finally asked, "_What_ is going on?"


	4. Chapter 3

**Next chapter is up!**

**Be sure to tell me what you think! I wrote out the whole story, in a detailed summary, so I can do regular updates. You should review and tell me how often I should update! It'd be really, really helpful!**

**Thanks for re-reading this, by the way! :)**

**Disclaimer: It would be fun. To run in the sun. To feel the warmth... but I don't iCarly. Sad face.**

* * *

Gibby stood up after his extremely long laughing fit. He left the room, saying something Sam didn't care enough to listen to. Freddie looked at Carly. Carly looked at Sam. Sam glared at both of them.

"Freddie _has_ a girlfriend," Carly told her simply.

'_Wait. She __**knew**__?'_

Sam looked at Freddie and could tell how angry he was with Carly right then.

'Didn't he _just_ ask the chick out? And how does Carly know?'

Sam pursed her lips. Carly wasn't even around when it happened! She happens to have Freddie's P.E. class. And she never even saw him ask any chick—

Sam's eyes went wide. This wasn't making sense. Time to break out the questions.

"Wait, wait, wait," she began, "How did _you_ know that?" she asked Carly. Freddie was the one who was surprised, though,

"You already _knew_?"

Sam shrugged. This wasn't a big deal.

"Yeah, yeah. I heard some girls talking about it in the hallway at school."

Freddie's expression melted into a goofy grin all of a sudden.

"She was talking about me?"

Sam rolled her eyes. _'Nub.'_ Carly bit her lip,

"I wanted to tell you, you know," she told her, looking guilty, "But Freddie made me promise not to. I'm really sorry!"

Sam shook her head, and looked back at Freddie.

"Was she talking about me? What did she say?"

Sam stood up. She was already getting peeved. Carly stood up with her, trying to calm her down.

"It's only been a week!" she pleaded, "Well, a _little _more than a week. I would have told you if I could, you know that!"

Sam closed her eyes. _'Holy chiz, Carly can't shut up for one second, can she?'_

"Just…who _is_ she, anyway?" she asked her. Carly paused and then looked back at Freddie. He was still sitting on the floor, in a little bit of a daze. She turned back to Sam,

"Her name is Kathryn McClain. She's a new student. She just moved here at the beginning of the month."

Sam looked down at Freddie again. His face made her want to punch him so hard… He just looked way too happy.

'_I need to fix that.'_

She laughed, and remarked,

"So _that's_ how he finally got a girlfriend! She doesn't realize what a dork you are because she's 'the new girl'!"

Freddie glared up at her.

"Smooth, Benson. I knew you were desperate, but, really?" Sam chuckled as Freddie stood up.

"THIS is why I didn't tell you!" he shouted, "Because anytime I try to actually have a nice girlfriend, you ruin it for me!"

'_No, I don't!'_

Sam growled,

"Well, it's my job to make you realize you're actually _gay_, Benson!"

'_Nice. That just sounded stupid, Puckett.'_

Just then Gibby walked in, his eyes about ready to pop out of his head.

"Freddie's gay?" he asked, clearly confused. Freddie just facepalmed.

"_See_? I almost didn't even tell Carly," he whined, "I knew she'd tell you!"

Sam smirked,

"If you're so afraid of losing them, you shouldn't ask them out at all."

'_That…didn't come out right,'_ Sam paled. But it didn't matter because it still made Freddie furious.

Carly quickly butted in, pushing the two away from each other. She asked if they could just make some sort of an agreement.

Freddie looked at her with a questioning look.

"A _compromise_? With _Sam Puckett_?" he scoffed, "Yeah, like _that_'ll happen."

Sam shifted. She could compromise. It's not like she wants him to be mad _all _the time.

'_Well, maybe I do…just not necessarily mad at me…'_

Carly sighed,

"Sam, could you try to leave Freddie's new girlfriend alone?"

She looked at Freddie and noticed his intense glare. Carly shakily continued,

"And NOT purposely screw anything up for him with her?"

Sam rolled her eyes, remarking,

"I've never even _done_ that!"

All of them, even Gibby, immediately replied,

"_Yeah_, you do."

Sam groaned, and then quietly agreed,

"Okay, okay. I won't mess with your girlfriend."

Freddie was a little shocked, probably by how quickly she gave in. He thanked her.

Sam narrowed her eyes and grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled his face down to hers.

"But don't think I won't still mess with you, Frednub! Even if you're little girlfriend is there, all I have to do is ignore her—but your butt isn't getting off that easy."

He swallowed.

"Uhm…I guess I should be grateful," he muttered, "…I think."

Sam shook her head. She could do this. No big deal.

* * *

"A compromise?" Denial huffed, "I can totally do that."

"Yeah, right," Hate smirked, walking up behind her, "It'd be too easy to just wring that little girl's neck, you know. I mean, _I_ certainly wouldn't mind."

"We don't have to do _anything_, Hate," Denial smiled, "We have no reason to dislike someone we don't even know. Isn't that right, girls?"

She turned to see every other emotion doing something different. In Love walked up to them both,

"I wouldn't say that…I mean, why is this girl any better than us? We're better. Way better."

Hate ran up next to her,

"See? This is what I'm talking about! We should join forces more often, little lady!" she grinned. In Love bit her lip,

"Well, okay…"

Denial shook her head and looked past them. Knowledge wasn't paying any attention. She was just sitting by herself, reading, as usual. Brave was up and about, purposely making her cape flutter behind her. Happy was in the back, by Timid, probably messing with her.

"Happy, what the hell are you doing?" Denial shouted.

Happy quickly turned around, a piece of ham hanging from her mouth.

She chewed and swallowed, and replied,

"I was just keeping Timid company."

Denial facepalmed, walking over, grabbing Happy's wrist and dragging her away from the cage.

"We don't talk to Timid. You KNOW why she's back there!" he shouted. She caught the others' attention.

"Timid is just fine, if you ask me," Lazy remarked, stretching and standing up. Happy smiled at her.

"Just leave her alone. Do what Denial says already. No more talking to Timid," Hate screeched, "_Got it_?"

The others nodded and went back to what they were doing.

"Weee!"

Hate sighed angrily.

"Brave, knock it off!"


End file.
